now i know. now i found out, after such a long long long time. i've learnt not to jump to conclusions without evidence. but finding it don't make me a step closer towards what I want. wait. what do i want? im clueless. half-hearted to do things. indecisive. i feel alright when my mind is occupied blocking it away. but, when nothing prevents it from coming, it hits me so hard that i feel so weak to get up, that i feel so aimless. i know it would be wrong if everything were to be just fine. but, everytime i close my eyes, i see you. i just want to hate it. to literally hate it. but it gets stronger and stronger and i'll kneel to the ground and finally admit, " I miss you,very very much."

Labels: don't rush things