I don't know how to express myself now. Should I just cry or be glad?
I just thought it was too early for me. I know I sound stupid to be upset about this, but I had to.
Im afraid of the journey that I will go through. I mean, how will I do?
From what I saw, they seemed to be distant from me. Or is it just me? I don't know.
What will happen if this goes on? I cant afford to lose them. At first, when I heard abt the interv, I thought it'll be fun and good. But after getting into this position, I realised I was all wrong from start. I feel left out when they laugh, and seeing those glowy, shiny faces, I felt miserable that I wasnt a part of them. I was really excited about this friday, but I realised all the excitement soon evaporates after I experience that thing. I dont know what I should do. I talked to Aqil, Feeqa,Dayu and several others in there, they say, "Its okay." My heart feels so heavy. I feel like breaking down now, but I have to hold back cause I know, its not worth it. It really hurts.
Everything changed. But I don't want it and never want it to. I just like it, they way they used to be. but somehow, I guess i'd to do more than them. but its okay. Cause I know, everything's going to be alright or rather I hope they'll be. As for now, I shall do what I have to do. I have to keep my promise to the people. I hope we will still be close. Like the way it used to be.
Fuck what I said, I dont want it back.
anyways, Dee, Anwar, Rully. nice job on the guitar. ;D
thanks anwar for the song. hahaw. i'll miss all of you & the rest, heqiang too.
I should always face what Im afraid of,
What I say, I live with it.
Labels: i really miss qam. very much.